


Gone

by deanna_s_winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fanfiction, Mild Language, SPN - Freeform, gone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:43:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanna_s_winchester/pseuds/deanna_s_winchester
Summary: Characters: Dean x Reader, SamWord Count: 1635Warnings: Angst, mild languageA/N:  Originally written for a tumblr challenge (@team-free-will-you-idjits-67 ’s 200 Follower Challenge), but it evolved into a series. Your feedback is greatly appreciated, I’d love to know what you think! Each chapter will have their own warnings, not all of them will be explicit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam  
> Word Count: 1635  
> Warnings: Angst, mild language  
> A/N: Originally written for a tumblr challenge (@team-free-will-you-idjits-67 ’s 200 Follower Challenge), but it evolved into a series. Your feedback is greatly appreciated, I’d love to know what you think! Each chapter will have their own warnings, not all of them will be explicit.

The kitchen was a mess by the time you were done fixing dinner, but you didn’t care. The boys were going to be home soon and you had wanted to suprise them with a delicious home cooked meal after weeks of on the road eating. You knew they loved burgers but figured they had had enough of them while they were gone, so you’d settled on making philly cheesesteak stew served in freshly baked sourdough bread bowls, and for dessert you’d made a blackberry pie.

 

Everything was ready to go, all you needed were the boys. Not being sure of exactly when they would be back, you’d left the oven on warm and slid in the bread bowls and pie, the stew remaining on the counter in a slow cooker.

 

Glancing at the clock you set to work on cleaning up the disarray you’d left the kitchen in. You couldn’t stop the smile that spread over your face at the though of their faces when they came in and smelled what you’d cooked for them. They’d been away for over a month working this case and you missed them, especially Dean.

 

You were just finishing up when you heard them enter the bunker and a large grin plastered itself across your face as you dried your hands and practically ran out to greet them. You entered the war room just in time to see their forms retreating down the hallway towards their rooms. Following behind them, you skidded to a halt infront of the room that you shared with Dean.

 

“Hey,” you said, coming up behind him and wrapping your arms around his waist from behind. 

 

He chuckled softly, dropping his bag and turning in your arms to hold you close. “Hey sweetheart,” he says. You’d missed being wrapped in his strong arms more than you thought you had, and your eyes closed as you breathed in the smell of whiskey and leather.

 

“I know you guys are probably tired after the drive but I made dinner. Figure you could use a home cooked meal.” You beam up at him, expecting him to leap at the sound of your cooking, but the look on his face quickly made your smile face. “What is it?”

 

He sighed, releasing his hold on you to run a hand through his hair. “Sammy found us another job. We’re only staying long enough to re-supply and then we’re heading out.”

 

His words made your stomach drop and you swallowed. “How…how long?” you ask, voice quiet. You stared at him as he moved to the other side of the room to empty out his duffel and grab fresh clothes from the dresser, refusing to meet your gaze.

 

He shrugs. “It shouldn’t be too long, one day maybe two." 

 

Silently you walked over and bent down beside the bed, reaching your hand under to rummage around before pulling out your own duffel. Unzipping it you went over to the dresser to grab some necessities.

 

Dean stopped moving and looked at you features drawn into a frown. "You’re not coming with us,” he stated as if it was the beginning middle and end of the discussion.

 

“The hell I’m not!” you fired back, shooting him a glare. You reached into your sock drawer for your gun but his hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling your arm back and slamming it shut. 

 

“This isn’t up for discussion, Y/N!” he shouted looking at you with a firm yet angry look across his face. 

 

“You know that you’re not my father, right Dean? You don’t get to tell me what to do!” you yelled back, jerking your arm out of his grasp. He openrf his mouth to say something but you interupted him. “No Dean. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be here, alone, for months? Itching to go out and hunt but being told no at every turn? It has been almost a year since I got hurt, and I am ready to get back out there! I’ve BEEN ready!”

 

Something softens in his eyes for a moment and he reaches out a hand to you before dropping it with a sigh. Walking over to you his deep green eyes gaze into your y/e/c ones before placing a kiss on your forehead and walking through the door in the direction of the garage.

 

You stood there for a moment, listening to his footsteps recede. The irritation, and anger, and hurt that had been building inside of you for months finally gave way and you spun around, chasing after him.

 

“And this is why I don’t want to stay anymore!” you yell at him down the hallway. “You always leave!” Hot angry tears prick the corners of your eyes and you fight to keep your voice even as you yell. “I know you feel like you have to save the world all the time, but why can’t we do that together?” The tears spill over and you can’t keep the tremor out of your voice. “Take me with you, please.”

 

Deans shoulders slump and he looks down. "We’ll be back in a few days,“ he said and continued towards the garage.

 

Your eyes hardened and your lips pressed into a hard line. "Dean Winchester, if you walk out of here…” you took a breath. “If you walk out of here, don’t expect me to be here when you come back.”

 

He paused, and you thought maybe he would stay, but then he opened the door and was gone.

**Dean**

The miles sped by in silence, Sam having overheard the fight between you and his brother, and Dean not wanting to talk about it. He stared out at the long stretch of road ahead of them, lost in his thoughts.

 

Eventually Sam cleared his throat and looked uncomfortably at Dean. “Do you-”

 

“Nope,” he interrupted in a short clipped tone.

 

Sam sighed. “Dean, you have to look at it from her perspective. She’s always in the bunker and she’s almost always alone because we’ve been out on these hunts without her. I’m sure she’s frustrated and I know she’s got to be lonely.”

 

Dean’s knuckles were white around the steering wheel. “You don’t think I know that?” he barked at his brother, taking his eyes off the road briefly to glare at him. “Of course I wanted to bring her with us, Sam, but it’s safer for her to stay at the bunker and out of harms way.”

 

“Dean-”

 

“I can’t lose her, Sammy” He thought about the last hunt the three of you had been on together. How the easy salt and burn had turned into something so much worse and you had ended up on death’s door. He doubted he would ever forget how you looked bleeding out in his arms, how he felt when he thought he was going to have to watch you die. When you had somehow managed to pull through he had promised himself that he would never let you get hurt again, and he intended to keep that promise. “I can’t lose her,” he repeated softly.

 

“What if you already have?” Sam asks, looking at him with a mix of understanding and sadness in his eyes.

 

He looked at his brother, panic rising in his chest. “You don’t think she actually meant what she said, do you?” You had just said that in the heat of the moment, right? Hadn’t really meant it…right?

 

Sam ran a hand through his long dark hair. “I dunno, she seemed really upset. I’m also pretty sure I smelled dinner when we walked in.”

 

And then it dawned on him. He had been gone for over a month, and you’d cooked for them to celebrate them coming home and staying home for a while. He remembered the look of pure joy on your face when you had seen him, the desperate way you had clung to him as if you never wanted to let go. And all he had done was pack his bag, yell at you, and leave. Again.

 

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, grabbing hold of the wheel and turning it hard to the left in a u turn, ignoring the angry horns blaring from other vehicles on the road. He plunged his hand into his pocket for his phone, drawing it out and dialing your number. “Come on, pick up” he said, dialing again when it went to voicemail.

 

They reached the bunker in a little under two hours, breaking all traffic laws in the process. The engine was barely off before his booted feet made contact with the cold cement of the garage floor. 

 

“Y/N!” he yelled as he ran into the bunker, tearing down the hall to the room you shared. Throwing the door open his heart sank when he took in the emptiness inside. All of your things were gone except for a few articles of clothing that you’d forgotten in the haste of your departure. Cursing under his breath he once again pulled out his phone, dialing your number for the millionth time that night. “Come on baby, please pick up,” he muttered running a hand through is hair as he raised the phone to his ear. 

 

He could hear a sound emitting from the war room, and he dashed through the door and down the hallway. As he got closer he realized what it was and his footfalls slowed to an eventual stop in front of the table. 

 

He absently ended the call and reached down to pick up your phone from the table. His heart throbbed as he saw the picture of the two of you that you had set as your lock screen. His legs gave out and he collapsed into the nearest chair. He was too late.

 

You were gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,122 words
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: Nothing really…maybe a smidge of angst if you squint?

The horizon was a hazy line in the distance at the end of the long stretch of road. Classic rock poured from the car speakers turned up loud to be heard over the rushing wind that filled the car through the rolled down windows. Your hair bounced on the breeze, tickling your cheeks as it slipped from your ponytail. You leaned back in the drivers seat one hand lazily gripping the steering wheel while the other hung out the window.

Having just finished up with a case in Oregon, you were on your way to Montana where you’d caught wind of a vamp nest that needed taking care of. You felt relaxed, as you often did after a job was finished. There was just something about throwing yourself into the work and not worrying about anything else that soothed you.

 

The sun slipped across the sky painting shadows across the land as it grew later. Glancing at the clock you realized that you’d been driving for the better part of 12 hours. Eyes scanning the side of the highway you pulled off at the next exit that promised a place for you to stay. A rumbling erupted from your stomach and you decided to get yourself something to eat before you turned in for the night. You spied a diner not far from the motel you were planning to stay at and pulled your car into the cramped parking lot.

 

You were shown to a booth at the back near a window where you were able to catch the fading vibrance of the sunset. As the last splashes of color faded from the sky and the street lights popped on one by one casting their harsh glare onto the pavement below, your gaze drifted across the cars in the parking lot. Your eyes drifted across the metallic bodies, your mind barely registering, until they settled on the sleek blackness of a 67 Impala.

 

You blinked as your brain caught up to your eyeballs, and squinted noting that no one was occupying the cars interior. Sitting up straighter you began to look around the diner when your waitress stepped up to your table, pen and order pad in hand. “What’ll it be, hon?” she asks, absently chewing the gum that was tucked into the corner of her mouth.

 

Glancing up at her you opened your mouth to speak when you realized your tongue was suddenly as dry as sandpaper. “I’ll have a cheeseburger,” you croaked out. Raising your closed fist to your lips you coughed and added, “And a soda, please.”

 

Scribbling your order onto her pad she nodded and headed back towards the kitchen. Resuming your earlier endeavor, you strained to look around at the patrons in the diner, but none of them fit the description of the hunting duo that had been absent in your life for the past two years.

 

You slumped against the plush back of the booth, exhaling a sigh of relief. It wasn’t them. Logically you knew they weren’t the only people who drove a car like that, but you couldn’t help the fact that every time you saw one your heart lept into your throat and your pulse shot through the roof.

 

The waitress found you staring out the window when she brought you your food, still watching that Impala waiting for whoever owned it to leave and put you out of your misery. “Here you go, hon,” she said as she slid the plate, hot to the touch, in front of you. “Is there anything else I can get for you?”

 

Tearing your eyes away to look down at the cheeseburger then up at her and shook your head. “This is fine, thanks.” The waitress nodded and left you to eat.  
You weren’t sure if it was because you hadn’t eaten all day or if this really was quality food, but you were pretty sure that this was one of the best burgers that you had ever eaten. Every bite you took was as deliciously juicy as the last and your eyes drifted closed as the flavor splashed over your taste buds, eliciting a soft moan from your lips.

 

You briefly wondered what the Winchesters were up to. If they were ok. Sometimes you found yourself picking up the phone and dialing Sam or Dean’s number, before coming to your senses and hanging up the phone before you’d even dialed. What had happened between you and Dean aside, they had been a part of your life fo so long it had taken a while to adjust to a life without them in it.

 

Finishing off the burger and soda, you paid your bill and exited the diner intent on having a good nights rest at the motel you’d seen earlier.

 

When you arrived and went inside to the front desk, you learned that there was one room left, room 22. It was on the other side of the building but that was just fine with you. Getting back in your car you carefully pulled through the packed parking lot until you spied a parking space that wasn’t out in the north forty. Marveling at your apparent luck, you turned off the ignition and grabbed your bag out of the backseat, heading for the dumpy building that would be your shelter for the night.

 

The first thing you did upon entering the room was drop your bag on the floor and head straight for the shower. After a day spent driving the hot water felt good and you reached up to try to rub some of the stiff soreness out of your shoulders.

 

You stayed in the shower until the water began to run cold, only then did you reach down and turn the water off, fingers slipping against the cool metal knobs. Stretching as you stepped from the shower, you thought your muscles felt at least a little bit better, and you reached for a towel to dry yourself off.

 

Exhaustion hit you and you barely had the energy to dress in a pair of leggings and a loose fitting t-shirt before falling face first onto the bed.

 

You were happily dancing along that line between sleep and wakefulness when you thought you heard a soft rapping coming from the door. Opening your eye you looked over at it and sure enough, after a few minutes, it came again albeit louder this time. With a groan you slid off the end of the bed and shuffled the few feet to the door, wondering who it could possibly be and what the hell they could want.

 

Opening the door you came face to face with the absolute last person you expected to see.

 

“Hello sweetheart.”

 

Dean.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,739 words  
> Warnings: None  
> A/N: Here’s part 3! Probably got two or three of these left, but we will see! Send me some feedback and let me know what you think!

You blinked up at him stunned, mouth suddenly going dry. You opened your mouth to say something, but the words died in your throat and you just stared at him with your lips hanging open like a fish. 

 

Dean gazed down at you with a half grin on his lips as he broke the silence that had risen up. “Hey.”

 

Swallowing to try to moisten your mouth, you tried to regain your composure and managed to give him a small smile. “Hi.” You breathed out and stared at him a moment longer before bringing a hand up to scratch your forehead. “Sorry, I just…I thought you were the manager or something.”

 

“Well, you lucked out sweetheart. I’ve seen the manager and I look way better if I do say so myself,” he chuckles and flashes you a grin. “Can I come in?” he asks.  
Furrowing your brow in confusion, you nodded and stepped to the side. The minute he walked past you a wave of aroma that you could only describe as Dean wafted over you and it took you a moment to blink away the memories it carried with it and close the door.

 

He looked around the room, noticing that you were alone, and nodded to himself before turning back to you. 

 

“Why are you here?” you asked, voice coming out more hostile than you had meant it to. He raised his hands and opened his mouth to say something before you shook your head. “Sorry, it’s just….it’s been a long day and you are the last person I expected to show up here.”

 

He sighed and reached his hand up to rub at the back of his neck, lowering his eyes to the tacky carpet beneath his feet. “Yeah, sorry about that.” He sighs, dropping his hand and walking over to occupy one of the chairs next to the table in the corner. “We need your help with a case.”

 

Your eyebrows raise and fold your arms across your chest. “You’re kidding, right? You’re asking me for help?” The nerve that the brothers possessed was incredible considering that leaving you out of hunts was what had driven you off.  
Dean sighs, dipping his head to run his fingers through his hair. “Look, I know that things didn’t end well with us.” He pauses and looks up at you, looking as if there was something he wanted to add to that, but decided against it. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Believe me, if Sammy and I could deal with this on our own we would. After we’re done with it you can leave and we will never bother you again. But we need you on this, Y/N. Please.”

 

You chewed on your bottom lip, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. A lot of progress had been made on your part over the past couple of years, picking up the pieces and trying to fit them back together. You had been a complete mess after you’d decided to part ways with the brothers, and truth be told you weren’t sure that you wanted to open up that particular can of worms again. But you also knew that Dean wouldn’t be here asking for your help if it wasn’t something big.

 

“You’re sure there’s no one else that can help you?” you asked, knowing what the answer would be but needing to ask anyway.

 

Dean shook his head. “No one.”

 

Blowing out a puff of air you raised your hand and ran it over your face. “Alright.”

“So let me get this straight,” you said, perching on the end of Sam’s bed. “There’s a demon, named Vaspar, making deals with scorned women to kill their lovers in exchange for an eternity of on-call sex?”

 

Sam and Dean were crashing in room 30, just down the hall from yours. After you had agreed to help them, Dean had brought you to their room so that Sam could catch you up on the details of the case.

 

“In a nutshell,” Sam said, looking over his research notes on the computer. “The girls summon Vaspar and give him something that belongs to the man she wants to exact revenge on. After Vaspar does his thing he returns to claim the girl and takes her to live in his harem as payment.”

 

“You’re telling me girls are actually doing this?” You honestly didn’t understand what could be going through these girls minds. It was insane.

 

“Yeah,” Sam said, looking up from his screen to look at you. “And the numbers of victims have massively increased in the past couple weeks, all from the same general area. We aren’t exactly sure why, but what we do know is that we need to take this guy out before anyone else loses their lives over this.”

 

“And that’s where you come in,” Dean says, taking a long swig from his beer.  
You raised your eyebrows in confusion, raising your own beer to your lips and letting the amber liquid slide down your throat. 

 

“We want you to summon Vaspar and send him after Dean.”

 

Liquid sprayed out of your mouth and onto the carpet as the beer invaded your lungs as you inhaled sharply, mind reeling at what Sam had just said. “Excuse me, what?” you spluttered, lifting your fist in front of your mouth and coughing in an attempt to dislodge some of the discomfort.

 

“We want you to put a hit out on me so we can gank the evil son of a bitch,” Dean says, eyes dancing with amusement at your reaction.

 

You glanced over at him, shooting daggers with your eyes, before looking over at Sam in disbelief. Never would you have thought that he would be in any way, shape, or form ok with a plan like this. He looked resigned as if they had exhausted every other possible option before turning to this one. “And what exactly happens if this thing goes sideways? Dean dies and I get carted off to be a demon’s whore?”

 

The brothers exchange a glance, Sam running a hand through his shaggy brown hair and Dean turned back to you. “It’s not going to go sideways. We’ve been in far worse situations and come out on top.”

 

You supposed that was true, but it didn’t make you feel any better about this plan of theirs. Looking back and forth between the two of them you sighed. You knew that you wouldn’t be able to say no to a hunt when the big bad you were after was so powerful, couldn’t leave it to wreak death and destruction, a fact that you knew the Winchesters were well aware of.

 

“Alright, what’s our first step?” she asks shifting her gaze to Sam who gave her a soft smile before lowering his eyes to his computer screen and clicking on something. 

 

“Well, we have most of the ingredients that we’ll need. There are a few things we still need to get but it shouldn’t take more than a couple of days to pick those up and then we’ll be ready." 

 

Draining the last dregs of beer from the bottle you stood and set it down on the table. "Same routine as before? Ready to go by 6?” you asked as you moved, reaching a hand out to the door and resting your palm on the cool knob. Sam nodded and you gave him a short smile. “Alright. See you boys in the morning,” you said before you left for your room and what you knew would be a long night.

Sleep wasn’t to be had for you that night. You’d tossed and turned, vainly trying to drift off, but you’d finally given it up when your eyes fell on the harsh red numbers on the electric clock by the bed reading 3:30am. 

 

Groaning loudly you punched the flat pillow next to you and got out of bed, heading to the bathroom intent on a long hot shower. You weren’t surprised to find that the water pressure wasn’t great but you stayed beneath it until the water ran cold, allowing the steam to envelop you and ease the tension in your shoulders some.

 

By the time you’d showered, gotten dressed, and packed up your meager belongings it was only 5 o'clock. Chewing on your lip you decided to go grab something out of the vending machine to tide you over until something opened and you could get a real breakfast. Digging around in the side pocket of your bag you withdrew a couple dollars in change, pocketing it before leaving the room.

 

The early morning air stung your skin and you found yourself wishing that you had pulled on your hoodie before going in search of the vending machine. Rubbing your hands on your arms to take the edge off, you walked down past the rooms to the other end where a small sign promised vending and ice.

 

Not really expecting anyone else to be up and about at this hour you almost collided with a broad chest coming out of the small alcove.

 

“Easy there, sweetheart,” came the rough and sleepy voice of the eldest Winchester, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders to steady you.

 

Looking up at him your eyes briefly locked with his and for a moment you felt yourself getting drawn in and lost in their olive green depths. As if time had stopped and the last two years had never happened. Some emotion akin to awe flitted across his face and he tugged his plump lower lip into his mouth. That one simple act sent a jolt of desire through you causing heat to pool in your belly.

 

Raising his hand, Dean tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, brushing your cheek with his fingertips. And just like that, the spell was broken, you tearing your eyes away from his face and taking a step back. 

 

He dropped his hands, clearing his throat. “Looking for a little morning pick me up?” he asked nodding behind him to the snack and soda machines.

 

“Yeah, gotta get something caffeinated in me,” you smile nervously, and inch around him. “I’ll see you at 6.”

 

Your back was to him so you didn’t see the look of desperate longing that he send your way before he turned and went back to the room he was sharing with Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,687 words
> 
> Warnings: Semi-public smut
> 
> A/N: -heaves- Part 4 is finally here! I’ve been sick and super just not wanting to write or do anything lately, so that’s why it’s taken so long. Sorry about that! Anyway, hope you guys enjoy it! Please like it if you do and drop a comment letting me know what you think <3

By the time 6 o'clock rolled around everyone had been packed up and loaded into the Impala, Sam and Dean in the front seat and you taking your old spot in the back. You sat staring out the window, watching as the sun began to rise over the horizon to take its place in the sky overhead.

It wasn’t the first time you’d taken in such a view from this seat, and you could almost pretend that things were back to the way they had been before everything had gone wrong. 

The miles rolled by beneath Baby’s tires, and around noon Dean pulled her off onto an exit that promised food and gas. As soon as the car was in park you had the door open to get out, legs burning with the need for movement and bladder nearly ready to burst. You retrieved the key from the attendant and quickly made your way around the side of the building to the small and filthy bathroom.

A cloud of stench hit you straight in the face as soon as you pushed the door open, so bad it made your eyes water. It smelled and looked as if the bathroom hadn’t been cleaned in a month, and if it weren’t for the intense pressure of your tummy coupled with the fact that you knew you wouldn’t be stopping again until this evening, you would have said to hell with this and just dealt with the discomfort. “Heaven help me,” you muttered before taking a deep breath and diving into the bathroom, doing your business as quickly as you could.

“You ok?” The look on your face as you passed Sam on the way to return the bathroom key must have spoken volumes.

“I’m going to file a formal complaint,” you grumbled, moving past him and into the mini-mart. Walking up to the front counter you slammed down the wooden plank with the key attached, glaring at the scrawny youth behind the counter before turning to go.

“Hey! Bathrooms are for customers only, you have to buy something!” he called out behind you.

You answered him with a raised middle finger and a “Clean your fucking bathrooms,” called over your shoulder as you stalked out of the store and over to the Impala, climbing into the back.

The boys were already in the car, and almost as soon as you had shut the door Dean wrinkled his nose. “What’s that smell?”

His answer was a hard smack to the back of his head.

———————————————————-

“You guys start staying in nicer places since I left?” you asked with a raised eyebrow as Dean pulled into an actual decent looking motel. Getting out you walked over and peered through the wrought iron fence that ran parallel to the rooms. “It even has a pool!” you exclaimed excitedly.

Dean chuckled softly and looked over at you, a fond expression shaping his features. His smile dropped when Sam quirked an eyebrow at him and he looked away clearing his throat. “Let’s see if they have any vacancies before you go and get too excited ok sweetheart?” he said, turning and disappearing into the front office.

With a slight roll of your eyes you shuffled back over to lean against the Impala, nudging Sam’s shoulder with your own. “Hey, Sam.”

A small smile ghosts across his lips. “Hey Y/N,” he says quietly.

You chewed on your lip and stared at the ground, a palpable sense of awkwardness resting between the two of you. You knew you had to say something. You hadn’t just left Dean two years ago, you’d left Sam. He had been like a brother to you, your best friend, and he had done nothing wrong, yet you hadn’t said a word to him in all this time. “Sam, I-”

“Y/N, you don’t have to-” he started but you interrupted him.

“Yes I do, Sam.” You folded your arms across your chest, kicking at a pebble on the ground. “I’m sorry.” You were quiet for a minute, searching for the right thing to say. Why were you so bad at words? 

“It’s ok,” he says, eyes also trained on the ground at your feet.

A sigh left your lips. “No, it’s not. Dean’s the one I was angry at, not you. I should’ve written, called, reached out in some way to you…but I didn’t. You didn’t deserve that, Sam, and I’m so so sorry.” Peering up at him your eyes met his, and he wrapped one of his long arms around you, pulling you against his side. “I missed you,” you said, leaning your head against him.

“Missed you too, Y/N,” he said, giving you a soft squeeze before releasing you as Dean returned with two keys.

“We’re in luck. Last two were right next to each other,” he said, handing you the key to your room. You took it, offering him a smile in return, before reaching into the car and hauling your bag out of the back seat. Weaving between the two boys to get to your room, you slid the card into the slot on the door, waiting for the light to flash green before you went inside.

————————————————

It had been almost a week since the three of you had checked into the motel. You’d split your time between gathering more information about the case and collecting the rest of the ingredients that you were going to need for the summoning spell.

Things between you and Sam were gradually returning to how they used to be. The two of you fell back into the playful banter and camaraderie like no time had passed, and you were overjoyed to have your friend back.

Things between you and Dean, however, were complicated to say the least. You were polite to one another, and sometimes the conversation would flow easily between the two of you for quite a while. But then one of you would say something that left an awkward tension in the air, effectively destroying the mood in the room.

And as much as you hated to admit it to yourself, being around Dean hurt. You’d known going into this that there would be some sort of unresolved tension, but nothing had prepared you for the actual sting in your gut when the three of you had gone out to a bar and Dean had disappeared with a busty blonde twenty minutes in.

You hadn’t gone back to the bar with them since. That’s why you were sitting on the edge of the pool nursing a beer, legs swishing back and forth in the cool water.

Obviously, you didn’t expect Dean to still be hung up on you, not after all the time that had passed. You’d had the occasional one night stand to ease the loneliness and take the edge off after a long day of hunting, so why shouldn’t he? 

Logically you knew that he wasn’t in the wrong. He was single, picking up women in bars wasn’t a crime, but that didn’t mean you wanted to watch it happen either.

“You know you’re not supposed to have alcohol in the pool area, right?” you’d been so sucked into your thoughts that you hadn’t heard the gate creak open.

“Thought you and Sam went to the bar again,” you said, glancing at him as you took another swig from the brown bottle.

Dean came over and sat on one of the pool chairs behind you, reaching down and stealing one of your beer bottles. You fake glared at him before swinging one of your legs out of the water so you could turn and semi-face him. Quirking your eyebrow at him you waited for him to answer as you emptied the last dregs from your bottle, setting it down beside the ones you had already finished. 

“Nah, wasn’t feeling it tonight,” he said, flicking the cap from his bottle and taking a long drink. “Besides, I saw you having a party over here by yourself and I thought I’d crash.”

You barked out a laugh, the booze already in your system making you feel light and bubbly. “Yeah, real rager over here,” you said, raising a finger and swirling it around in the air.

A grin split Dean’s face causing his lips to part and his tongue dipped out to slide over them. You couldn’t help but focus on it, vision going hazy before you blinked hard and looked away. You told yourself that the rising heat in your cheeks was due to the alcohol, but somewhere inside you knew better.

“So tomorrow’s the day, huh?” you said as you reached for another bottle. Talking about the case was safe. Thinking about Dean’s tongue and what you knew it could do was not.

“You ready to send a demon after me for having done you wrong?” he asks with a grin, taking another drink.

“If ever there was a man to get a bounty put on his head for scorning women, it would be you,” you said with a slight roll of your eyes. Dean, looking offended, opened his mouth to retort but you held up a hand to silence him. “Don’t even start with me, with how many women you’ve gone through over the years, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened already.”

“Okay okay, but at least we know it will work if you do it.” Dean’s voice was teasing, but the look in his eyes couldn’t have been more serious. You hurriedly averted your gaze, the air between you becoming uncomfortable once again as you both thought about how things had ended.

“Dean-” you said shifting so that you were facing the pool, once again dropping your leg back into the water. “I don’t want to talk about that,” you said softly, staring down at the blue surface and watching the smooth ripples emanate out from where your legs moved.

There was a soft creak that signaled he’d gotten up from the chair, and a moment later his legs appeared next to yours, pant legs rolled up to his knees as he also dipped his feet into the pool. He was quiet for a long time just sitting next to you, so long that you were about to get up and walk back to your room when his voice broke the silence. “That night has played over and over in my head for the past two years." 

You shifted uncomfortably and opened your mouth to speak, but he interrupted you.

"You don’t want to talk about it, ok. Then just listen." 

With a sigh you nodded your head and looked down at the water, staring at the light that illuminated the pool floor.

"I’ve let you down so many times, Y/N. The night of our fight, the night we broke up, hell I was letting you down time and time again way before then,” He paused and looked down at his hands. “I came back that night. Sammy he uh, made me realize what I was doing, what I was risking. I thought I was protecting you. After what had happened with that vamp I couldn’t risk losing you but….I realized I was pushing you away and if I kept doing that I was going to lose you anyway.”

You turned to watch him carefully. 

He had come back for you?

“If I had never left, or if I had come back sooner, maybe things would be different now,” his voice was quiet.

“Yeah, maybe they would be,” you said. Dean turned his head to look at you, green eyes wet with unshed tears. The old familiar pull between the two of you was there, and you ached to take him into your arms. To be in his arms. All of the feelings for him that you had pushed down suddenly came bubbling up to the surface, and you couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of your mouth. “I never stopped loving you.”

Your gaze hastily dropped to your lap, cheeks ablaze, completely missing the flash of longing in Dean’s eyes. What you didn’t miss was the feather-light touch of his fingers on your jaw a moment later, gently turning your face to look at him. Seeing the desperate look of hope on his face made your chest hurt. His gaze danced over your features, taking everything in, his thumb moving to wipe away a stray tear from your cheek that you hadn’t even realized had fallen.

You watched as his eyes fell to your lips, his tongue darting out to wet his own before he looked back into your eyes searching for something, anything, to tell him that you wanted this too. A slight nod of your head was all it took for him to draw you closer and gently place his lips on yours. An audible sigh left you at the contact, remembering how whole Dean could make you feel.

The kiss was soft, slow, and everything you remembered a kiss with the eldest Winchester being like. His fingers moved along your skin until they were curled in your hair. When he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours you were breathing heavily, eyes closed and mind swirling. He filled your senses, intoxicating you, and Chuck help you you let it happen. You wanted this, wanted him, even after everything.

Your eyes flashed open and you pulled your head back, decision made. The questioning look on Dean’s face barely registering before your lips crashed into his. If he was surprised by your actions, he didn’t show it, as he helped you move onto his lap. The growing bulge in his pants was unmistakable and you couldn’t help yourself from grinding down on him with your hips, earning you a low moan in response.

If your last kiss was soft and sweet this one was hot and needy, fueled by the pent-up desire that now flowed freely between the two of you. His hands were at your sides encouraging you to continue the movement of your hips as he licked into your mouth, claiming your tongue with his just the way he used to. The small spark of desire in your belly quickly swelled into a flame and you ground down onto him, the throb at the apex of your thighs demanding relief.

As if he could sense what you needed, Deans hand snaked between your bodies, popping the button on your shorts and sliding his hand inside. A low growl vibrated out from his chest when his fingers came into direct contact with your dripping cunt and he realized you weren’t wearing any panties. You gasped as he wordlessly sank two of his fingers into you, massaging your slick walls in search of that sweet spot. When he found it you broke the kiss and rewarded him with a needy moan as you clenched around his fingers.

Dean watched you with lust blown eyes, a look of hunger and need etched across his features. His face was just inches from your own and you could feel his warm breath on your lips as he panted, his body reacting to yours as you neared your release.

Lifting your eyes your gaze locked with his and you looked at him almost pleadingly. “Dean…” you moaned.

“I’ve got you, baby girl,” he murmured, moving his thumb to rub small circles against your clit. Two rotations was all it took and you were gasping out your release, squeezing your eyes shut and biting your lip in a pitiful attempt at being quiet. You slumped against him and he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, kissing the top of your head.

When you were able to you climbed off of Dean’s lap, not bothering to button the top of your shorts as you held out your hand to him. 

“Where are we going?” he asked as he got up to stand in front of you.

Sliding your hand into his you pulled him out of the pool area and back to your room, a wicked gleam in your eyes. “It’s your turn.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part 5! Let me know what you think, your feedback is my bread and butter <3

Dean had you up against the motel room door as soon as it was closed, his lips finding yours with a kiss that was filled with urgency. The feel of his muscled frame pressed against you, something you'd never thought you'd feel again, made your knees tremble. Nudging your legs apart Dean slotted his knee between them and you sank down on it, grinding your core against his jean-clad thigh in search of the friction your body craved. 

His groan vibrated against your lips as he pulled back to look at you with lust blown eyes before dropping his gaze to where you were riding his thigh. "Fuck, sweetheart." His hands slid down to your hips to guide your movements, feeling your slick soaking through his pants and your thin shorts.

Your head fell back against the door eyes closed, a moan falling from your lips, and Dean wasted no time leaning back in and attacking the sensitive skin of your neck with his lips and teeth.   
"Dean, please," you whimpered pressing your hips down harder but it still wasn't enough, you needed more. 

Grabbing your thighs Dean hoisted you up and carried you over to the bed, spreading you out over the mattress. He shrugged out of his flannel and shirt before crawling up your body touching every inch of exposed skin along the way, unable to take his hands off of you. Yanking your tank top down over your breasts you heard him groan when he realized you weren't wearing a bra and he dipped his head to envelop one of your nipples in his mouth.

His teeth scraped across the sensitive flesh and your back arched sharply as a cry of pleasure escaped between your parted lips. You felt his lips curl into a grin as he did it again, bringing his hand up to rub and tease at your other breast.  
"Dean please, need you," you gasped hips bucking up against his searching for what your body craved.

Flicking his eyes up to meet yours he released your nipple with a light pop, playing with your breasts with both of his hands before sitting back onto his knees to work your shorts down your hips. As he slipped them off of your legs and tossed them to the side you slipped out of your tanktop dropping it to the floor, swallowing hard when you saw the hungry look in his eyes as they raked across every inch of your flushed skin.

Not moving his eyes from you he stands from the bed just long enough for him to discard what was left of his clothes before covering your body with his once more. He nudged your legs apart with his own and you eagerly spread yourself for him.  
When he begins to rub his hard length against your drenched folds you think you might lose your mind. Your breathing was ragged, your core clenching around nothing, and when your eyes met Deans they were pleading with him to hurry.

Slowly he sank himself inch by inch into your slick heat, grunting and straining to hold himself back. When his cock was fully sheathed inside of your warmth he searched your eyes, making sure that this was really ok. That this was what you wanted. The answer was a resounding yes, and you nodded breathlessly. Tucking a y/h/c strand of hair behind your ear he leaned down placing a gentle kiss to your lips before he rolled his hips against yours.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you clung tightly to him, gasping and groaning beneath him. Sweat began to form on your bodies as you rocked together, the sounds of your lovemaking filling the room.

Arms circled behind your back and before you knew what was happening Dean was sat back on his knees with you straddling his hips. Pushing your fingers through your hair to keep it out of your face you looked down at him, gazing up at you with a look of complete awe and desire that it made your heart flutter. Biting your lip you ground your hips down, moaning obscenely as his cock bumped against your cervix, taking him deeper than before.

His fingers gripped you tightly holding you against him as you moved. "Shit, y/n," he groaned as his body tensed and you knew that he was close. 

Ducking your head you pressed your lips to his, pulling back just far enough to say, "It's ok, Dean. Do it. I'm right behind you."

You words sparking something in him, Dean tightened his hold on your hips as he bucked up into you chasing his release. He found it with a loud groan as he spilled inside of your warm depths, coating your walls with rope after rope of his seed. His release triggered your own sending you spiraling over the edge and into the blissful void that awaited there.

Your body slumped against him and Dean carefully moved the two of you so you were once again laying flat on the bed. Reaching down he grabbed hold of the blanket, pulling it up to cover your sweat-slicked bodies. Once you had regained control of your breathing you looked over to find Dean watching you with a lazy smile on his face. "Hey."

"Hey," you said returning his smile.

"That was...." he trailed off, tongue darting out to wet his lips as his gaze swept over your face.

"It was," you agreed, watching as he reached out to brush his fingers over your cheek.

You felt them trail lightly down your skin, over your neck and across your arm, until they came to rest on your elbow where he flattened his hand and gently tugged you closer. "C'mere."

Scooting close to him you allowed him to pull you into his arms, head on his chest and arm draped across his stomach. This was your spot, a place you never thought you'd be again. 

You were happy.

There was no way of knowing what would happen tomorrow. No way to predict what the future would hold. But right then, in that moment, everything in your world was perfect.


End file.
